I was scared that I wasn’t gonna run at all this week. But I managed 7.6 miles earlier at a 9:56 min/mile pace.
This week has been dreadful for training. I’ve felt low in physical energy and my morale has suffered as a consequence.
And because of that I’ve been freaking out about the Paris Marathon a lot with it being less than 3 months away.
But last night I had a breakthrough.
I dreamt that the Paris Marathon went perfectly and I ran it in 4 hours 39 minutes and I had an amazing time during it.
Most of my race ‘dreams’ involve my pants falling off my ass at the start line and me later being arrested for indecent exposure.
So a truly positive dream for me is unprecedented.
Tomorrow isn’t looking great for a long run here in Northern Ireland. The snow is coming down and I keep going outside to shake my fist at the sky but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
I hate feeling at the mercy of the weather. I’m already at the mercy of my own laziness.
But the bad weather won’t last forever and neither will the Winter, or even my laziness.
Motivation ebbs and flows like the seasons themselves and you’ve got to strike when you’re feeling strong and do what you can when there’s no inspiration left to avoid falling into a rut.
I’m falling short now
But I know I won’t always be this way.
I’ve been accused in the past of harbouring a completely negative mindset, and that a positive mental attitude is the only way to progress in life.
But feeling positive isn’t something that you can switch on and off. You react in the best way that you can to any situation you’re faced with.
The ‘Positive Mental Attitude’ crowd are shilling an ideology that bears no resemblance to real life. There’s nothing wrong with feeling great during a run. At the same time there’s nothing wrong with feeling like shit either.
I’d rather remain neutral/indifferent to my emotions and let my legs do the talking rather than my mind when I’m jogging.
If you try to force a positive mindset upon yourself when you’re not ready for it, then you’ll only feel worse for being negative and fundamentally broken.