For the past 4 months I’ve been demoralised about my inability to control my violent urges for food at night. I’ll track everything I eat up until around 8pm and then my stomach will begin to growl.

The uneasiness within will grow to such a level that I’ll be forced out of boredom or lack of self control to eat anything. Once I eat one thing, my appetite will gain momentum. The “What the fuck, I might as make this a feast now as I’ve ruined my eating plan” rises to the fore.

It’s those extra calories at night that are hampering my running. It’s not as if my calorie intake is vastly surpassing the energy I burn. In fact I’ve stayed at 211lbs now for about 3 months so I think I’m just about breaking even.

I need to catch those thoughts before they become urges. I mean, it’s OK to eat something at night. It’s just the gung-ho attitude that emerges after I eat one item that’s the issue.

A bad day doesn’t become a bad day until I throw in the towel and give in to the old routine.

My “fuck it” attitude is self defeating.

I rationalise it to myself by thinking “Well I can always run it off tomorrow!”. That may be true, but I’m not running solely to maintain my weight. I want to get faster and go further. I hate the feeling that I’m making reparations for the bad choices I made the night before. I should be making physical gains with each run, not just mental gains.

The simple fact is that I don’t need the extra calories. I’m already eating well over 3,000 a day. That’s more than enough to keep my body going even if I’m running 35 miles a week and walking 30.

It’s a battle that I’m still fighting. I haven’t lost to it yet as I’ve maintained the same weight since July and I’ve learnt more about what triggers the overeating at times. There won’t be a eureka moment where all my problems are solved. I need to focus on making better decisions when the challenge arrives.

I don’t have to make the right decision 100% of the time. 51% of the time would be a fucking start!

13.6 Mile Long Slow Run

An uneventful but pleasant run. I set out with the intention of running further than the 13.5 miles I ran last week and I achieved it even if it was only by a tenth of a mile.

I’m glad to report that my nipples are no longer an issue ever since I’ve applied the Bodyglide and the Vaseline on top! Such a fucking relief. There will be no weeping or screaming in the shower tomorrow.

I had only one angry moment today. It was when a girl disembarked a bus and stopped on the middle of a narrow footpath blocking my way.

She was wearing earphones so couldn’t hear my breathing or passive aggressive stomping. In the end I just ran on the inside of the pavement and nearly ended up in a hedge just to avoid a catastrophic collision.

Oh but the tunes sound so good in ma head, man!!

I wanted to fucking scream “WAKE UP!!” at her but she was clearly dead to the world.

So instead I just ran 0.1 miles pretty quickly and let out a massive “FUCCKKKKKKKKK!!!” when there was no-one else around.

It was the best moment of the day. Cathartic.

With less than a month to go until the Paris Marathon, today I was confronted by the sheer fucking panic that sets in when a 26.2 mile race is just around the corner and you’re unsure if  you’re ready or not.

26.2 fucking miles. What was I thinking?

When you’re new to marathon training it’s normal to be plagued with doubts. I still struggle with thoughts like these.

• How the fuck can I possibly keep going for 26.2 miles? I’ve only ran 16/18/20 miles in training!
• What if I hit the wall?
• What if I don’t manage another 18 mile run before the marathon?
• What if I get injured?

Before my first full marathon, I was in the dark with regards to how my body would cope with the distance.

I ran my first half in training for the 26.2 miles and I just remember being paralysed by the realisation that I had to do 2 laps of the half marathon course to complete the distance.

If I was exhausted after only 13.1 miles, how could I possibly run that distance when I had nothing left to give after the half?

Dropping the pace and focusing on distance.

For my first two marathons I quickly realised that I had not been running far enough.

I made the decision to drastically drop my pace on all of my jogs and run at a 11 minute/mile instead of my preferred 10 minute/mile pace.

It wasn’t ideal but I had to find a way to run further and increase my confidence.

My goal was to finish after all. Pace didn’t matter.

New approach to training this time around

For the Paris Marathon I’ve put distance training before everything else. From the start of January I set out to run as far as I could on every single run.

I made next to no progress with pace during the first month, but my stamina improved drastically over that time.

By focusing on the distance and getting comfortable with it, I’ve built a stable base for myself that has allowed me to experiment with speed work.

I’m going into this marathon knowing that I’m not slowing down.

Far from it, I’m actually speeding up! I’m on the attack as opposed to the back foot for once!

And it’s all thanks to those early 8 mile short runs. Without them I’d still be struggling to break an average 10 minute mile over longer distances.

This morning at 5:30am I ran 11.2 miles as a short run.

And the best thing is that I ran these 11 miles, 10 minutes faster than the my last 11 mile run in January 2013.

For a while in the winter I thought I was never gonna improve. I thought I was doomed to plodding.

It just goes to show what you can do if you’re determined and want to improve.

Never give up hope.

I’m still having difficulties motivating myself to run in the morning and I’ve finally found out why.

I keep setting myself longer and longer distances and I can’t keep going further each time.

It’s getting brighter, later in the morning and it just isn’t feasible to be running 15 miles at that time.

I live in a small town and I can only run long if I go into the countryside where there isn’t much lighting at all.

I can’t be running around here with a miners cap on. The locals are quite superstitious and might mistake me for a dayglo Djinn and put their foot down hard on the pedal when they see me waving to them from the roadside.

I am not going down to the power plant by the seafront before daybreak either.

I don’t wanna be fucked and mauled by a sett of glowin’, howlin’ Badgers.

Bored of the really long weekday runs

The great thing about the 20 mile run on Sunday is that it has freed me up a little to concentrate on going faster over shorter distances.

I think from now on I’m gonna go back to running 8 to 10 miles in the morning.

That is more than adequate.

I’ve just got into this insane fucking mindset where I don’t think a run counts if it isn’t over half marathon distance.

By that logic, I would be running 30 miles before work in 2016 and I’d still be disappointed that I didn’t run the 29th mile in a sub 9 minute mile.

I’ve really lost the plot and my mind with it.

Not giving up running even though I’ve felt like it.

I haven’t really felt like myself in quite some time.

I think I’m exhausted from all of the training and for a while I’ve been wanting to just rest. The thought of those long morning runs has been draining me.

So instead of running 15 miles at 5am, I’m gonna get up at 6am and do 8 miles and work on my speed. I need to adapt to the weather and work on my pace now that it’s cooler.

It will be a welcome change from running those crazy distances.

An 8 mile morning run won’t leave me walking into the office like I’ve shit myself.

It’s time to become realistic and start enjoy running again.

I am a damn fool.

 

The sad fact is that if you’re new to running your training runs alone won’t prepare you for all of the silly distractions on race day.

And they can really throw you.

Here are some of the annoyances you’ll encounter in a race that you’ll never encounter in a training run.

1. The sheer crowds of people is difficult to cope with – If you run on your lonesome or in a small group then you’re in for a shock on race-day. The events are ran by thousands of clumsy fuckers all scrambling for Gold. The first few miles are always tightly packed and you’ll find yourself fighting for breathing space. Sometimes you have to vault up and down the pavement to find your line. Everyone seems to be running at different paces. You always have the Mo Farah’s who start at the back and surge through the crowd at terrific leg speeds, only for you to see them walking furiously at mile 6 with their beats blasting in their ears. It’s a head-fuck.
2. The race photographers are distracting – “Come on smile!” are arguably the last three words you wanna hear when you’re nipples are bleeding, you can’t catch your breath and you just want the misery to end as quickly as possible. Sometimes I’ll be ready for the photographer and try my best to pose but then I’ll just look really fucking odd like I’m having a stroke. I already know how bad I’m gonna look on camera so I’ve given up trying to pose and just brace myself for the worst.
   

   50 Shades of Gormless.

3. The spectators are demanding – Most people don’t give a shit when you’re running around your home town as long as you aren’t in their face about it. When you’re running a race, it’s completely different. You cannot let the people cheering for you down otherwise you’ve failed yourself and you’ve failed them. If you stop to walk you’ll hear about it from them. Also, If you’re odd like me you’ll have to become skilled at avoiding the people on the roadside who want high 5’s. I try to shuffle away from them to hide the fact I’m an awkward bastard who is taking everything too seriously.
4. The sheer volume of fun-runners who will overtake you in fancy dress is humiliating – Every Chicken that is killing your 10-minute-mile is another reason to hang up your shoes altogether.
5. The cut off bus is after your ass – The cut-off bus drives behind the last group of people in the race and picks them up before they re-open the roads to the public. This is more scary than it sounds. If the bus gets you then you don’t get your medal. You’re officially a DNFer. In Vegas I was terrified that they’d get me and that I would have travelled 5,500 miles to miss out on a medal. That thought ruined my enjoyment of the rest of the race.
6. The sense of euphoria at crossing the line will blow your tiny mind – Sure you might be glad to finish a training run, but you haven’t experienced anything until you cross the line for the first time. Then you get to collect your medal. And drink beer and frolic through the night.
7. The shit that you have to tag to your body to be considered a contender will try to escape from your persons – In some races this is both a chip you tie around your laces and a race number. If any of that shit comes off your body, then you’re in trouble. With no race number you’ll be disqualified and with no chip you won’t record a time even if you do finish. I’m still bitter about the Great North Run 2012 when my chip came off my shoe on the starting line. It made for the longest 13.1 mile run in history.
8. The queues for toilets are unreal – When you see the length of the queues for the toilets at larger events you start to consider that everyone may have suddenly been struck down with the Ebola virus. Once you get into a stall you’d think that all of the runners have been ingesting nothing but rancid burger meat, dog food and Budweiser. I can never go to the toilet in there as I’m always trying to hold in the vomit.

   Ironic how marathoners can calculate their mile splits perfectly but can’t guage the trajectory of their turd into bowl with any such accuracy.

9. The waiting about at the start is frustrating as hell – You’ll spend 15 minutes minutes before the race listening to some idiot in a yellow Sash explaining how you aren’t allowed to fight your fellow racers and that shitting on the road is prohibited. It’s always a tense stand-off and those around you always look more primed for the occasion than you do. I always want to shout something like this at the loudmouth with the speaker “Thanks for the pep-talk Nigel, can’t we just cut to the fucking national anthem and get going? I’ve  cut a hole out of the back of my shorts to minimise my time spent squatting at the road side. The harsh Westerly wind is starting to burn a hole through my hole.”
10. The water stations are death traps – You haven’t experienced hell until you’ve ran through a water station. Panic ensues. Runners scatter towards both sides. Some stop in shock as if the water station is a mirage. “Can it really be what I think it is? OMG! H20! You going in ma belly!” Some try to throw water around themselves and end up hitting other runners. Eager volunteers are thrusting bottled water in your face. You try to say “thanks man” but it all comes out as a growl as you’re too busy trying to hammer down and swallow branded bee jizz.
11. The depression after the race is stifling – I never feel depressed after training runs. Races are totally different. The surge of adrenaline throughout the course of the race leaves you feeling deflated for days on end afterward. I’ll then find myself entering race after race to try to fill the void, only for the whole horrible cycle to start afresh.
12. The supplements you receive on course that you haven’t trained with can rip your insides open – If you’ve ran out of energy gels and the choice is between hitting the Wall or taking a new gel that may or may not make you shit yourself, you’ll find yourself gambling on Brown every time. In Vegas I think I tasted about 9 different varieties of Gu and each made me gag in a new and exciting way. It wasn’t fun or pleasant but it was the only way I could survive.

This post is a quick recap on all of the races I ran this year.

I entered 2013 with a marathon personal best of 4:54 and a half marathon time of 2:07:11.

I didn’t have any real goals for the year, only to keep on running and to enjoy it as much as possible.

All in all I completed 1 ultra marathon, 4 marathons and 6 half marathons.

Brighton Half Marathon – February – 2:07:07  (personal best)

This was a very tough race for me. I don’t quite understand why. I wanted to stop at mile 10 as the pain of running was too much. I continued on and achieved a personal best of 4 seconds.

Celebrated after the run in a gay bar across the road from the Promenade where a group of women invited me over to their table as I was sitting all alone and one of them talked about how she had to cut dried shit out of the back of her dog’s coat.

I made my excuses and headed to Wetherspoons.

Still, it was a fun day out. I’ve entered for next year but I don’t think I’ll be able to go unfortunately!

Liverpool Half Marathon – March – 2:02 (personal best)

A good race as ever in Liverpool.

It was held on St Patrick’s Day and I thought I’d be up for a major piss-up after the race.

To be honest I couldn’t be bothered .

I was sick to my stomach after putting everything into the run and spent the next 2 hours wandering around Liverpool City Centre trying to avoid a bunch of drunken twats who were wreaking havoc everywhere I looked.

Paris Marathon 2013 – April – 4:52 (personal best)

Total fucking disaster.

Spent the 2 nights before it high as a kite in Amsterdam, chowing down space cakes and Psilocybe Atlantis like there was no tomorrow.

Turned up in Paris Gare De Nord emotionally wrecked after a taxing experience the previous evening where Samara and Kim Jong-Un were playing table tennis in my hotel room after too many shrooms.

If I’d been piss tested after the race I’d have been disqualified for being a drug cheat.

The run was going well until mile 16 when I hit the wall. I hadn’t brought any fuel with me on the race, my mind was shot after the brain-rape in Amsterdam and I crawled home in 4:52.

Still, a personal best, but it wasn’t enjoyable in the slightest. My face below says it all.

Edinburgh Rock N Roll Half Marathon – April – 2:03

1 week after the Paris Marathon and I was heading back out on another jaunt, this time to Edinburgh.

The race itself was marred by the rainy weather.

I can’t say I enjoyed it, but I felt surprisingly strong given that this was only a week after Amsterdam/Paris.

At the time I was dismayed as I’d missed out on the sub 2 hour marathon mark. It ruined what should have been a joyous occasion.

Still I got a brilliant medal from it.

Belfast Marathon 2013 – May – 4:37 (personal best)

The first marathon I ever enjoyed really.

I made the mistake of carrying Reese’s Cups in my Camelbak and by the end of the race they had melted with my sweat into the lining of the material.

Fucking disgusting.

I hit the wall at mile 20 but this time around I knew I could jog through it and record a personal best after the disappointment of Paris.

In the end I took 15 minutes off my time and then enjoyed a wonderful week away in Crete the day after.

My legs were cramping like hell on that plane….

Lisburn Half Marathon 2013 – June – 2:05

Not much to say about this one, other than it was fun to run on a Wednesday evening for once!

Highlight of the run was downing 3 pints in The Cardan in 10 minutes before my train was due home.

I wasn’t overly impressed with my time, but I already knew I was gonna be off the sub 2 hour pace before I started.

It was all about getting around on the day and enjoying myself as much as possible.

Titanic Quarter 50k 2013 – September – 8:23 (personal best!)

My first ever ultramarathon and it was very fucking painful.

Long story short, I got lost at mile 9, ran an extra 6 miles, had to stop for a few shits in a number of country parks and on one occasion asked for the permission of the Northern Irish Justice Minister to go to the toilet in public.

Still I got through the experience relatively unscathed. I was in last position by over an hour but that didn’t matter.

I’d only started training for the event 2 weeks before the 50k and I knew it was gonna be a challenge.

Not my finest hour, but I got through it and I’m now an ultrarunner!

Rock N Roll Dublin Marathon 2013 – September – 1:57 (personal best)

After 14 attempts at trying to record a sub 2 hour half marathon I finally managed it on Dublin.

It was amazing blasting through the last mile feeling strong as hell right until the finish.

The only worrying thing about the race was that I almost fainted in the shower after the run. I’d put everything into it and felt nauseous for the rest of the day.

Put a dampener on the occasion.

Great Scottish Run – October – 1:56 (personal best)

The Great Scottish Run is arguably my favourite half marathon race as I love visiting Glasgow and the race route is typically quite flat.

The weather on the day wasn’t great but I was delighted to record yet another personal best, especially so soon after the Dublin Rock N Roll Marathon.

I was touch and go for the run up until Saturday evening. I’d spent that Friday in the Cathouse Rock Cub in central Glasgow where I became too drunk and ended up hurling all morning Saturday.

I started to feel much better after some salad and a Crabbies Ginger Beer and then recorded a new best time on Sunday!

Dublin Marathon 2013 – October – 4:23 (personal best)

Everything came together in Dublin.

The crowds were fantastic. The weather on the day was perfect for running.

And I actually managed to complete the entire race without stopping to walk.

Rock N Roll Las Vegas Marathon 2013 – November – 4:44

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to go and get really fucking drunk the day before the race.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to have 2 Margarita’s on race morning.

Maybe going to Las Vegas for 10 nights and running a marathon right in the middle isn’t conductive to great marathon times.

Still, the 10 days I spent there were amazing and I recorded my 3rd best marathon time there.

And I got an amazing medal!

In the past 5 days I’ve amassed 47 miles on 5 consecutive runs and I absolutely love going outside for a jog now.

Whilst in the past I’ve been dead against run streaks because of the associated injury risk, I’ve decided this time to try to keep going for as long as I can.

If I start to suspect than injury is imminent, I’m gonna cut the streak short. As it stands my body is in great shape as I’ve been taking it very easy and concentrating largely on the amount of time I’m spending on my feet.

Here are some of the benefits I’m noticing by running every day.

1. I’ve structured my daily run in as part of my healthier lifestyle – Breakfast is always followed by a run. When I know that I’m going out later for a jog, I’m much less likely to have a block of cheese or a packet of Haribo for breakfast. I don’t want to tempt fate and shit myself. I can’t seem to run well with a full stomach.
2. I’m building momentum with my running for the first time in a while – Whilst my pace might be modest, I can finally see my speed and endurance moving forward. This can only be positive for the future. The best aspect of my progress is that I’m having to put in much less effort to maintain my pace than even this time last week.
3. My daily run means that I eat much less through the course of 24 hours – I don’t have any appetite for at least a few hours after my run. Rather than force food into my system, I now wait until about 3 or 4pm to have a light snack before having dinner. When I’ve ran this often in the past I’ve struggled severely with the runger. I’d go outside, plod 5 miles and come back in and eat an entire pack of Snickers bars as a ‘reward’ for my running. Now if I even think about ruining my progress, I threaten to reward myself with a swift fucking punch to the balls because that’s as helpful as a sugary fix.

   What’s that Mr T? Get some Nuts? I’d rather fucking punt myself in the nuts you whore. If you’re gonna be a shill at least market something healthy like Guinness. 

4. I’m no longer frightened at having to pick up the pieces and start afresh with my running – If I go even 3 or 4 days without a run I start to panic that I won’t be able to run anymore. It’s an absolutely absurd notion that is destroyed entirely by going for a run every single day.
5. My mood is much better throughout the day and I have hope in life now – I don’t know what it is about the winter, but I struggle emotionally with the shorter days. Now that I have the time to run in the early afternoon, my evenings are so much brighter and full of joy. I haven’t laughed this much in too long. I now feel like I have breathing space to sort out my problems. For the last 3 or 4 years I’ve been using junk food to block out emotional pain and it’s been the coward’s way out. Now I have less of that pain.
6. I’m now running much more efficiently – By efficiently I mean that I’m running lazy with as little effort as possible. I’m conscious of putting too much strain on my body with the run streak so I need to make sure I listen to my body.
7. I can try out new things on each run – For most of last year I was running on average 3 times per week. This meant that I didn’t have much room to plan speed sessions, hill workouts and long distance runs. Now I’m more adventurous. For the first time in my running life I’m dedicating some runs for speed sessions. I’ve even been bringing my marathon fuel belt along with me on shorter runs so that I can practice taking in energy on the move (that’s what I tell myself anyway. I think I’m developing a serious mental dependence on SIS GO Blackcurrant Flavour).
8. The run streak reinforces the fact that I’m committed to running the 100k – This is important as it gives me a little peace of mind. At Christmas time I was experiencing guilt for not taking my training seriously enough. Now I have no room for guilt.

Have you ever went on a run streak? If so, how many days did you manage and did you remain injury free?

You’ll be glad to hear that I ran this morning at 6am. 7.2 miles in 71 minutes. It was fucking amazing! The first 3 miles were into the wind and for the rest of the journey the breeze carried me.

Anyway I’m glad that a lot of you enjoyed my last rant about It got me thinking about what motivates me to run. Here are a few ideas that I use from time to time when it’s too early/cold/windy/snowy or dark outside.

1. Give yourself half an hour to wake up before you plan to run. Tidy your bedroom, make some coffee and plan your day out. Relax and wait for the inspiration to come. You don’t have to shovel down raw eggs like Rocky or punch your refrigerator. Just make sure you leave yourself enough time so that you aren’t rushing when you get back home.
2. The best bit about running early in the morning in a small town is the you have free reign of the quiet roads. There’s less traffic which gives you greater freedom in terms of a route. There’s less chance of an accident. When there are no vehicles or people about, I enjoy sprinting down the centre line of roads pretending I am a car. I have this invasive thought when I’m out that I’m gonna stop for a piss down a quiet side road, be apprehended by a police officer and plead with him for my freedom with a line like “Are you with the AA? I’m only standing here for a routine change of oil, sir’.
3. Set your alarm tone to something that really fires you up. I used to use Born To Run until I got sick of it.  Keep the phone well away from your night stand to stop yourself from turning the alarm off.
4. Leave out your running gear the night before along with anything else you need to run. You’ll be amazed by how unwilling you’ll be at 6am to go hunting for your sweating old running kit.
5. If you don’t have the time or the will to run the distance you had initially planned then why not go on a shorter run?  Anything is better than nothing. Whenever I decide to go out on a short run I end up staying out longer than I had planned. Get out there and do something! Every mile counts.
6. It can take a while for me to get the inspiration to finally move. It will often come from playing a song I love or messing around with my guitar. Motivation for running will hit me like a thunderbolt.  I go out as soon as it strikes otherwise I fear I might change my mind.
7. Fire yourself up with anger. If i think about someone I hate, the running juices kick in and I want to hammer the ground hard with my feet.  Eamomn Holmes’ face on Sky News riles me so much that jogging is a joy even in the cold.
8. If you can’t run today then never worry. Don’t give into shame. Make a list of 3 positive things that you’ll do today that will make running easier for you in the future. You could count calories, walk a bit more, watch some inspirational videos or research some new races that you’d like to enter. Just do something that will put you in a better position tomorrow then you were in today when you woke up.
9. If you have a problem at work then a morning run can seriously do wonders in terms of coming up with a solution. Once the runners high hits, all sorts of shit pops into my head from nowhere. New ideas. New solutions. The unsolvable suddenly becomes solvable.
10. Reward yourself for running. It doesn’t have to be food or drink. My prize is a footlong Ham Subway without cheese for breakfast. If I reward myself with food, I’m careful not to consume even half of the calories I burned during the run otherwise I feel that it negates my effort.

I haven’t ran in 4 days now and my bad start to the week has carried on through Wednesday and into Thursday and I’m struggling to halt my downward course.

I seem to eat when I’m stressed out and bored. Just knowing this stresses me out making me OM-NOM-NOM-NOM everything in my path. It’s a vicious cycle that I keep getting trapped in.

You’d think I’d have learned to escape it by now?

Fucking no!

My running motivation has gone again.

I’ve lost sight of the bigger picture. I brace myself for the utter boredom of day-to-day life where survival and career progression are the only game in town and it seems less intolerable when I eat like shit and block it all out.

I’d rather allay my fears with a chocolate bar than actually think about shit. It’s easier.

Yet it doesn’t help at all. When I eat like shit I run less. When I run less I feel like shit and then I eat like shit and then I start acting like a shithead.

Why I haven’t been running this week.

Here are my excuses. If they sound like horse shit it’s because they are.

1. My bed has been trying to eat me on a nightly basis – Never before have I slept this well. Normally I toss and turn relentlessly during the night. Now I’m out like a light when my head touches the pilly. Last week is taking it’s toll physically.
2. I’m living in the shadow of an excellent week – I ran both fast and long, last week. Even a 40 mile week will pale in comparison to 63 miles and a sub 2 half marathon. That said, I know that marathon training is about consistency. I need to keep focused on Vegas and let that push me forward with my running. This rut will pass if I aim upwards and drive my way out.
3. My eating has got a lot worse and I haven’t been tracking shit – Now that I’ve stopped tracking I feel like I’ve stopped moving forward with my fitness on a daily basis. It’s almost like 1 step forward and 2 steps back. What’s the point of doing any exercise when at best I’ll be back to where I was yesterday?
4. I’ve been setting my alarm too early and falling back to sleep because of it – I’ve been setting it for 3:30am exactly, yet I wake earlier than that as I leave my TV on all night as it’s the only way I can sleep anymore. The ‘Most Haunted’ ghost programme keeps waking me up, namely the co-host Yvette Fielding and her demented moans whenever she thinks she spots a demon when it’s really a lightbulb. In case you haven’t seen the programme, it consists of a group of ghost hunters screaming at darkness like badgers drunk on fermenting fruit. Hearing Yvette moaning as I surface from blissful depths of Dreamville makes me recoil in panic and horror. I immediately think that I’ve left a porno on all night and that the neighbours have had enough and have called the cops.

   “I assure you officer, I haven’t been wanking. I’m just watching Yvette moan like a whore at her own shadow as I can’t sleep!”

5. I’ve kept telling myself that I deserve a rest, but I’ve gone too far –  I guess I did deserve a rest after running 63 miles but in all honesty 4 days is too much. I could have easily woken this morning and thumped out a 10 miler without much trouble but I decided to put the covers back over my head.
6. I keep telling myself that it’s been a bad week but this hasn’t been one…yet – Tomorrow is a pivotal day where I can rescue everything with a run and  sensible eating before 6pm. That’s the beauty of this lifestyle, you can mess up and make up for previous mistakes with a few good days.

So tomorrow I’m waking up at 5am and I’m gonna rescue my fucking week and charge around this town whilst it’s still dark and record at least a 10 mile run.

If you too have had a bad week remember that it’s still not too late to rescue it for yourself. Don’t get to Monday and regret the week that’s passed.

Grab it by the balls and make it a good one whilst there’s still time!

Today’s post is about the little changes I’ve made to my running & my lifestyle that have made me a better runner over the last year.

Hopefully a few of these will apply to your own life and you can use them to assist you too!

1. I’ve stopped constraining myself with labels – First I was a jogger. Then I was a plodder. Then I was a half marathoner. Then a marathoner. You limit your vision by what you define yourself as. If you derive most of your identity from being a half-marathoner, then you can be constrained by half marathons. If you think that all you’re capable of is a 5 hour marathon, then you’ll be less likely to try for a faster time. You’ve gotta give yourself a chance to prove what you’re capable of. I’ve stopped putting myself in boxes now as I’m growing and expanding.
2. I complete all the hill work I can – There’s nothing worse than encountering a hill you aren’t ready for in a race. That’s why I take on as many as I can these days so there aren’t any unpleasant surprises. Running on hills has improved not only my mental strength but my physical strength. I’m ready for anything. Besides I’ve learned to enjoy hill running. I take it easy and work with the hill.
3. I’ve stopped checking my Garmin every 20 seconds – That was enough to drive me up the wall. There have been a few times where I’ve tripped up on the ground whilst looking at the watch. Checking it doesn’t make the time go by any faster either (I should have learned my lesson when I was a kid waiting for Santa Claus!)
4. I’ve stopped weighing myself so often – It got so bad at one point over Christmas that I’d rejoice in needing a piss as I could weigh myself again after. “Holy shit man, down 4lbs in 3 minutes after pissing out 8 litres of Lucozade Sport! I’m a fucking winner!”
5. I’ve accepted that it’s more important to be the best runner I can be and not necessarily the best runner – Sometimes I’m left feeling hopeless when I see how bad at running I am compared to others. This doesn’t matter. I need to focus on improving as much as I can and forget what others are doing. You’ve gotta run your own race in life.
6. I wave at cars instead of giving them the bird when I’m out running – Before I’d have a permanent scowl on my face and I’d be paranoid that they might take offence at my head and come back and finish me off with a shovel.

   I will run you right over you little speccy bastard! 

7. I’ve stopped worrying about races whilst there’s still time to train for them – What’s the point of worrying about a marathon when I can get outside and train for it? Worry causes stress. Stress causes me to overeat. Gaining weight stresses me out. None of these things help me as a runner. All I have to do is get out there and run off the worry! It’s the easiest and best option!
8. I’ve stopped ‘picking’ fights with people walking their dogs – I’ll admit it, for the first year as a runner I almost thrived off confrontation with dog walkers. Whenever a little dog nibbled at my ankles I was full of righteous indignation and wanted to set the owner straight about how this was totez unacceptable. What a dick I was! And did it help with my running? Nope. It just made me more full of rage.

   So to all dogs. I’m sorry. It’s me that’s a cunt, not you. Except poodles. YOU ARE ALL FUCKING CUNTS! 

9. I no longer view speed work as the enemy – Speed work is liberating in that it allows you to run faster whilst applying the same amount of effort. I still disagree with the word “work”. It you view it as fun and enjoy yourself then you’ll want to do it more and more.
10. I’ve stopped assuming that the worst is yet to come in my running & my life – Ever since I completed my first marathon back in 2011 I’ve been waiting for “The Event” that will bring my running days to a halt. I don’t even know what I’m scared of. The unknown?
11. I’ve stopped viewing “comfort food” as comforting – I hate the feeling of being overweight when running or walking. I hate when my clothes don’t fit. I hate having to constantly pull my t-shirt down over my body. The more junk food I eat, the worse this will become which is why I limit my intake these days.
12. My failings as a runner aren’t final – Failure isn’t the end, it’s just a signpost towards success. I never thought I’d record a sub 2 hour half marathon, but I finally did it in Dublin in August 2013 at the 15th attempt. I never thought I’d run a marathon again after I freaked out in Barcelona El Prat and missed the Dublin Marathon 2011. I came back in 2013 and recorded my best ever time. I might have messed up in Las Vegas too but I will go back again and make up for it.
13. I’ve accepted my stubbornness is not always a virtue and I’m changing – Sure, I might have a “never say die” attitude that means I keep coming back to running but that same stubbornness means that I never cease the shit that’s dragging me down. Eating junk food, running at the same slow speed and drinking to excess on the night before a race weren’t helping my running. That’s why I’m changing my diet, reducing my alcohol consumption and working on my strength as a runner.
14. I know now that I don’t gain anything from having a negative mindset, so I’ve stopping giving in so willingly to negative thought cycles – When you’re looking down, you’ll only head in that direction. If you think that your run will suck and hold on to that mindset then you’ll only drag yourself into a bad run.
15. I no longer put pressure on myself “to perform” in the middle of a race – When I get tense, I start to hit the ground harder with my feet to compensate. How does that help? I’d rather be more ambitious in training than leave everything until the race. I always run better when I’m relaxed. It’s the only way I can fly.
16. I’d rather run a race even if I’m not prepared for it and fail spectacularly – Especially if the alternative is to sit on the couch and just say ‘yeah I’ll run this race at a later date’. That later date will likely never arrive if I’m unwilling to try anything remotely different. That’s why I’m glad I ran the Titanic Quarter 50k, even if I finished last by over an hour. It was an experience and I pulled through. I can come back stronger next year!
17. I’ve accepted that I’m where I am today because of past choices  – And I can change where I’ll be tomorrow by being healthier today. There is no such thing as a wasted day for me anymore. I have the power to direct my future by being conscious over my lifestyle choices now. You can’t move forward if you’re continually having to make up for yesterday. I’ve stopped mortgaging my progress as a runner for another slice of fucking cake.
18. I’ve started changing my running shoes more often – In the past I refused to change them until I’d put 1,000 miles into them. By this stage they were quite literally falling apart and providing zero support. Now I change them every 3 to 4 months.
19. I’ve reduced the amount of alcohol I drink on the night before running – Instead of having half a bottle of Vodka on a Saturday night I’ll go for one bottle of wine. I don’t have to cut out alcohol altogether. I’ve realised that too much is not good for me, particularly if I’m drinking for the wrong reasons. You only ever develop an alcohol problem when it initially provides a solution to a deep rooted issue. That was the case for me when I started when I was 19. All of a sudden social anxiety was a thing of the past. Only it wasn’t! I was just driving it deeper and deeper.
20. I stay out running past my comfort zone – Let’s say that I know I have 8 miles in the tank. Instead of quitting at exactly 8 miles, I will try to extend my run to 8.25 or 8.5 miles. It might not seem like much but it has done wonders for my stamina over the years.
21. I always do a little speed work on every run – Even in long slow sessions I will always include bursts of speed to liven up the run. It makes it more enjoyable and helps increase my pace steadily too.
22. I’ve stopped blaming other people in races – I take personal responsibility if I mess up. Even when I’m blocked by 4 ‘Sisters!’ running together with their arms linked in a row. Even when someone stopped right in front of me at a water station. Even when the racing line is blocked by a man dressed as Scooby Doo. These are all obstacles that I circumvent. I only blame others when I’m not well prepared.
23. I feel happy for friends or acquaintances when they record a better time than me – Before I’d get jealous of their success, overtrain to try to beat the person and then get injured. When other runners fail, you don’t gain anything. When they succeed, you can gain advice and wisdom if you get over your own ego!

This time last year my aim with running was to say goodbye to the 10 minute mile forever.

In all fairness I was tired of running at the 10 minute mile. I’d been clocking them in for the last 18 months and running at that pace never seemed to get any easier.

Yet no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t seem to run faster than that speed consistently. That’s when I invented the ’10 minute mile game!’

Playing the sub 10 minute mile game

Around autumn time last year I judged the quality of my runs based on how far under the 10 minute mile average I ran.

I created a points system where I’d take my average pace, calculate how many seconds it was below a 10 minute mile average and then multiple that number by the miles I ran.

So if I ran a 9:50 min/mile over 6 miles then I’d score 60 points.

As the weeks went on I’d set myself higher targets. For the first month my target was 60 points. Then I made it 100 points.

In the New Year it became 200 points.

It meant that in each run I was aiming to either run faster or longer and had an idiot proof way of logging my progress over the days and the months.

Now I’m playing the sub 9 minute mile game

I’m just back from an 8.5 mile run where I ran at an average 8:43 min/mile pace.

I’m gonna aim to keep my weekday runs under a 9 minute mile average and work with the same points system I used last year.

Going by it I managed 144 points today.

That’s pretty good going. I’m happy to start over again and just aim for 60 points or a 8:50 min/mile pace over 6 miles!

I know this will sound silly to most of you, but I’ve found it to be a good way to positively train my mind and body into adapting to running at a slightly faster pace than longer.

To make running a sub 9 minute mile easier, I’m trying to go faster still

I think the best thing about my run today is that I managed 2 consecutive miles that were ran under an 8 minute mile.

I’ve never achieved this before in my life.

I know that if I can throw in more of these sub 8 minute miles over the winter that maybe next year I’ll be playing the sub 8 minute mile game.

Progress is all about being consistent and attempting to make small improvements that add up over time.

Too often I’ve lost sight of what I’ve been trying to do.

Now I’m inspired to keep striving for faster.